Friday, October 8, 2010

The Secret of Successful Confrontations.

You know you don't like confrontation. Why can't we all just get along and not say and do things that tick others off? But it happens. So what do we do when there is a problem with someone that we need to confront?

My practice is found in John 1:14. God tells us that Jesus came into this world and made his dwelling among us. And "us" can be hard to get along with. It also says Jesus' attitude was full of grace and truth. So there is the secret to dealing with difficult people in difficult situations, grace and truth. Now Jesus is God and is never the one who could be in the wrong in a confrontation, but we can still learn from his attitude.

Grace means:
1. I want to work things out.
2. I want the best for the person and the situation.
3. I want to understand and listen to the person I am confronting.
4. I am not selfishly just wanting my own way.
5. I am willing to change.

Truth means:
1. I do not bury the things that I believe need to be said. They will not magically go away.
2. I think through what I want to say.
3. I watch my tone when speaking the truth.
4. I wait for the right time to say the right things in the right way.
5. Be ready to put boundaries or limitations on the situation maybe even the relationship. Example a relative is on drugs you eliminate giving them money fearing they will buy drugs.

Which one are you good at and which to you need to practice? To much grace and you are a pushover. To much truth and you become a legalistic, perfectionist.

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