Marriage Part 1

I recently finished reading, "The Meaning of Marriage," by Timothy Keller.  So I hope to share over the next several weeks some insights into marriage I gleaned from this book.  Maybe give a few of my own words of wisdom as well.  So if you are married, hope to be married, even single, or single again, I hope these blogs help you. 

Over the last 40 years healthy marriages have been on the decline.  The divorce rate is twice the rate it was in 1960.  In 1970, 89% of births were to married parents, but today only 60% are.  72% of American adults were married in 1960, but only 50% in 1980.

There is weariness about marriage in our culture, especially among younger adults.  There is a belief that most marriages will fail and the ones that do not will become boring emotional and sexually.  Comedian Chris Rock said, “Do you want to be single and lonely, or married and bored.  We have started to believe those are our only two options.  Many have opted for something in the middle of marriage and just sexual encounter, cohabitation with a sexual partner.
 

Today almost 50% of people live together before marriage.  Almost no one did in 1960

Living together before marriage, many argue, improves your chances of making a good marriage choice.  They feel it helps you discover if you are compatible before you take the plunge.

The problem with this argument is, statistically speaking, it is wrong.

Studies tell us if you live together before marriage you are more likely to break up and even divorce if you marry.  Our society does not want to go through the painful divorce our parents went through, but the cure we have come up with may be worse than the alleged disease.

While it is true 45% of marriages end in divorce, but far the greatest percentage of divorce happens to those who marry before age 18, who have dropped out of high school, and who have a baby together before marrying.  So if you a reasonable well educated person with a decent income, come from intact family and are religious, and marry after age 25, without having a baby before you marry, your chances of divorce are low indeed. 

Many people cohabitate before marriage because they want to own a home and be financially secure before marriage.  They assume marriage is a drain on finances.  But studies show that retirees who are continuously married throughout life have 75% more income than those who never married, or divorced and stayed divorced, or had multiple divorces.  Married men make 10 to 40% more income than single men with similar education and job history.   The reason for this may be in marriage you have someone to support you emotionally during hard times.  You also have someone to hold you accountable on a daily bases.          

So, that is where we are as a society.  I think it has not made us stronger.  I believe God has a good plan for us and marriage and a plan for those who are single.  So over the next several weeks, I hope we learn a better way.

What are your feelings about the decline of marriage in our western society?

How do you feel about our society moving toward a cohabitation normality?

The Meaning Of Marriage, Timothy Keller pg 22-24

Living Hope Assembly of God 2013

Living Hope, I believe the Lord is going to save, deliver, and help those you have been praying for. You have been praying for them a long time, but 2013 you will start to see the results of your prayers. He will grow his church through your works of faith, to those closest to you. We want visitors we have no personal connection with but we want the ones we have been praying for and getting to know over the years. I am believing for your teenagers, your spouse, your children, your friends, your neighbors. According to your faith be it done unto you.  Become what you believe.  Do you believe that?  Do you confess that? Then begin to receive that from Jesus.   

Matthew 9:29 Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith will it be done to you”

4 levels of anger

1. Some are quick to become angry but are quickly calmed.

-They blow up quick, but desire to settle matters quickly

-They will say the wrong thing, but then they will apologize

-They try and work towards restoration

-Simon Peter would lose it quick, then feel bad and repent

-He drew the sword to attack, but stopped at Jesus' rebuke

-He denied Jesus quick, then went out and wept at the denial

-I know a guy that falls into this, I see him in the mirror.              

2. Some are slow to become angry but are slowly calmed.

-Long time to get mad…

-But watch out when they do

-Hold grudges for years

-King David, keep a list of his enemies

-If you keep an enemies list from years ago, you are probably this type

3. Some are quick to become angry and are slowly calmed.

-This is the worst type of anger, worst type of sin

-The volcanoes, that you must tip toe around, 

-You try and avoid this type

-They get mad and are always mad

-The whiners, chronic grumps

-Their words cut, criticize, and mostly always confrontational

-They are a joy whenever they go

-King Saul was always angry at Samuel, David, even his own son.  He attacked them all

-Cain, sin crouched at his door.  He hated his brother Abel.  He killed his brother.  Yelled at God that he was not his brother's keeper.  And was angry at God for punishing him. 

-God help us when we creep into this category.  

4. Some are slow to become angry and are quickly calmed.

-Long time to get them mad but then they settle it quickly and let it go

-We can get angry, that is not a sin

-But we must be slow to get angry.  We should become angry at things that really matter.  And our ultimate goal should be to settle our anger then reconciliation.  

-Both Joseph’s in scripture are examples of this.

-Joseph, with his coat of many colors,calm toward his brothers who sold him into slavery.

-Did not scream curses at them.

-When he had a chance at revenge he blessed them instead.

-What they meant for evil God meant for good was Joseph's mindset 

-Joseph, the soon to be husband of Mary, was calm toward Mary when he thought she had committed adultery.

-He could have had Mary stoned in that society.

-But he wanted things kept quiet to protect her. 

-He believed the vision from the angel that said what was conceived in Mary was from the Holy Spirit.

-He loved Mary and cared for her 

-Jesus got angry, but it was slowly

-Then he died on the cross for the very people that made him angry

Which category do you fall in?

Allow God to help you to move toward the 4th category.

Become What You Believe

My eyes have been dark for a long time

My eyes just lost the ability to see

But there is a light shining in my soul

That light it seems so small

The dark seems so vast

But that little light is enough to guide me on

I believe the light will grow

I believe the darkness will fade away

So I will become what I believe